I woke up this morning to a really sweet card from my hubby. He even wrote a heartfelt message in it.... shucks!
I made us cheeseburgers (one of his faves) and broccoli (one of the munchkin's faves) for dinner. For dessert, I made Chocolate Coconut Flour Cupcakes with Espresso Buttercream. I searched online for a yummy recipe that Joe and I both would love and once I found this one, I new it was the one! I substituted the almond milk for whole milk, used stevia extract powder instead of the drops, and powdered erythritol in the cupcakes instead of granulated. I made these changes, because that's what I already had on hand. Other then that, I followed it exactly, and it was amazing. Next time I might add just a wee bit more stevia powder, but I'd rather have a little less then too much on the first try. Thank you, thank you, thank you to Carolyn for posting such an amazing recipe! I was so excited when I found her site, because she uses alot of the same ingredients that I do in her stuff and I can easily pick out something to try and be ready to go without even needing to go to the store.
Saturday is the night we are going to celebrate Valentine's day. My sister is going to watch the munchkin while we head out to dinner and a movie. Ya know, your classic "date night". I am really looking forward to it. We do not get to go out by ourselves very often at all. Infact, this will be one of our first real dates since before the munchkin was born. Wow!
Joe had class tonight, so he had to leave around 6:00. We were hoping they would let his class out early for the holiday, but no such luck. Me and the munchkin hung out and had lots of fun though and my mom even came by for a little visit. After Joe got home, we finally ate our cupcakes. It was a really nice valentine's day treat, as I usually don't get to enjoy too many decadent desserts. Joe spent most the evening downstairs in his office doing paperwork and I made food for lunches for me and the munchkin. We also had some major family drama unfolding, so my mom and I spent alot of time talking about that while I made food. Not exactly a romantic valentine's day, but atleast we have saturday night to look forward to.
It seems like we are both always so busy. Joe works full time and is going to school Mon - Wed in the evenings. The other nights he is really busy with school assignments and paperwork (there's a ton) for his job. Most of the other things are left to me. We are both working hard and taking things day by day. I know that one day it will all pay off and it will all be worth it, but sometimes I really miss him and us having more time to spend with each other.
Most of all, I am just so proud of him. He made the decision a while back that he wanted to go back to school to get a nursing degree. As soon as he told me, it just made sense and it felt right. He is so good with people and is really good at making people feel comfortable and at ease. So far he is loving his classes and really enjoying being back at school. He has gotten an A in every class so far! I am so excited for him to be able to switch careers to something that will be much more fun and fulfilling for him.
He is such an amazing husband, an amazing father and a wonderful friend. In my opinion, he's the best valentine ever!
I hope everyone had a wonderful valentine's day!
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Monday, February 14, 2011
Friday, March 5, 2010
My 100th Post!!
Wow... the big 100th post!! I imagine this would have happened a long time ago, but then the munchkin arrived....
I have really been neglecting my blog. Things have been going so good lately that its hard to break away and blog. But today, the hubs picked up munchkin from the sitter and took her to a friends house. This was totally unexpected, so I have nothing planned. I thought... why not post a blog!
Last Saturday, I finally packed up all of my breastmilk and shipped it off to the milk bank. It took me a while because I had to find a place that sells dry ice first, and then once I bought it, I had to ship it all the same day. I finally tracked down a pharmacy close to my house and got it all taken care. I am also feeling so much better about not breastfeeding any more. She has been thriving and feeling so much better... it's hard to not feel really good about that and that has kinda cancelled out the sadness I felt from having to stop breastfeeding.
We are pretty much settled into our new place. Everything is unpacked and put away. I am so glad that we are renting, because I am already ready to find a new place! It's also lucky we only have a 6 month lease, because I might not even make it a year. I am going to try though. I might hate moving just enough to keep me here longer. Our new place is okay, but now that munchkin is going to a new sitter in a new area, there really isn't any reason for us to have to stay this far west from everything else, like our family and friends, my job and our new sitter. We really aren't that far, but I wouldn't mind living a little closer. I also have been feeling super claustrophobic in this place. It could just be the winter too, so that might get better as spring time moves in.
The munchkin is growing like a weed! She started sitting up on her own in the last week! I still have to be close by to catch her when she falls over, but she is started to go really long stretches before she does. It's amazing the difference just a couple of months makes. She is getting really good with her hands and is really into her toys now and ofcourse she has to stick everything in her mouth. She is so happy most of the time. She seems to smile with her whole face and I am just so happy and relieved that she finally gets to experience life with out all of the accompanying pain that she had for most of her first 4 months.
Here we are enjoying one of our Wednesdays together at my mom's house. I no longer work on Wednesdays and I am really loving being able to hang out with her all day.
She gets so excited about things now. And when she does she shakes her whole face back and forth like she's saying no really fast and opens her mouth really wide. Its hilarious. She loves yelling at her toys. I wish I knew what it is that she is trying so hard to get through to them! Joe and I dance around the room and sing with her all the time. She gets so excited and starts kicking her feet really fast. Any time she starts getting crabby, if we scoop her up and start dancing around the room she instantly starts laughing and smiling and kicking her feet around. Our sitter's little boy named her Happy Feet because she is constantly kicking her feet around when she is happy and excited... which is alot.
She has been hanging out with her cousin alot. The are getting closer and closer in size. Munchkin is still so much taller though. But they are really starting to look like they are related. We always lay them together on the floor. Sometimes they kick or hit each other accidentally... but this time they seemed to finally really notice each other and they both seemed really interested! It was too cute.
Sunday we are having her 6 month photo shoot. I can't believe she is going to be six months old on the 9th! Time really is going by fast.
Joe and I, as a couple, are doing really good considering. Its so hard with him working full time and going to school 3 nights in a row. I hardly seem him at all on those days. He also spends alot of the rest of his time doing his homework along with his paperwork for his job. So I sometimes feel like a single parent... and it can be overwhelming to rarely get a break. Someday, it will all be worth it though... we just have to keep telling ourselves that. We have found a groove that seems to be working for us, so far so good.
Well the family will be home soon and I am going to try to get a few things done before they do. I will try to check back in soon and I will definitely post her new pics after we get them taken on Sunday!
I have really been neglecting my blog. Things have been going so good lately that its hard to break away and blog. But today, the hubs picked up munchkin from the sitter and took her to a friends house. This was totally unexpected, so I have nothing planned. I thought... why not post a blog!
Last Saturday, I finally packed up all of my breastmilk and shipped it off to the milk bank. It took me a while because I had to find a place that sells dry ice first, and then once I bought it, I had to ship it all the same day. I finally tracked down a pharmacy close to my house and got it all taken care. I am also feeling so much better about not breastfeeding any more. She has been thriving and feeling so much better... it's hard to not feel really good about that and that has kinda cancelled out the sadness I felt from having to stop breastfeeding.
We are pretty much settled into our new place. Everything is unpacked and put away. I am so glad that we are renting, because I am already ready to find a new place! It's also lucky we only have a 6 month lease, because I might not even make it a year. I am going to try though. I might hate moving just enough to keep me here longer. Our new place is okay, but now that munchkin is going to a new sitter in a new area, there really isn't any reason for us to have to stay this far west from everything else, like our family and friends, my job and our new sitter. We really aren't that far, but I wouldn't mind living a little closer. I also have been feeling super claustrophobic in this place. It could just be the winter too, so that might get better as spring time moves in.
The munchkin is growing like a weed! She started sitting up on her own in the last week! I still have to be close by to catch her when she falls over, but she is started to go really long stretches before she does. It's amazing the difference just a couple of months makes. She is getting really good with her hands and is really into her toys now and ofcourse she has to stick everything in her mouth. She is so happy most of the time. She seems to smile with her whole face and I am just so happy and relieved that she finally gets to experience life with out all of the accompanying pain that she had for most of her first 4 months.
Here we are enjoying one of our Wednesdays together at my mom's house. I no longer work on Wednesdays and I am really loving being able to hang out with her all day.
She gets so excited about things now. And when she does she shakes her whole face back and forth like she's saying no really fast and opens her mouth really wide. Its hilarious. She loves yelling at her toys. I wish I knew what it is that she is trying so hard to get through to them! Joe and I dance around the room and sing with her all the time. She gets so excited and starts kicking her feet really fast. Any time she starts getting crabby, if we scoop her up and start dancing around the room she instantly starts laughing and smiling and kicking her feet around. Our sitter's little boy named her Happy Feet because she is constantly kicking her feet around when she is happy and excited... which is alot.
She has been hanging out with her cousin alot. The are getting closer and closer in size. Munchkin is still so much taller though. But they are really starting to look like they are related. We always lay them together on the floor. Sometimes they kick or hit each other accidentally... but this time they seemed to finally really notice each other and they both seemed really interested! It was too cute.
Sunday we are having her 6 month photo shoot. I can't believe she is going to be six months old on the 9th! Time really is going by fast.
Joe and I, as a couple, are doing really good considering. Its so hard with him working full time and going to school 3 nights in a row. I hardly seem him at all on those days. He also spends alot of the rest of his time doing his homework along with his paperwork for his job. So I sometimes feel like a single parent... and it can be overwhelming to rarely get a break. Someday, it will all be worth it though... we just have to keep telling ourselves that. We have found a groove that seems to be working for us, so far so good.
Well the family will be home soon and I am going to try to get a few things done before they do. I will try to check back in soon and I will definitely post her new pics after we get them taken on Sunday!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Happy New Year.... some advice from the teenage version of myself.
I finally finished packing the first room yesterday. I had started with my computer room. I came across a shoe box filled with old zip disks. Not even having a zip drive on my computer at home, I brought the shoe box into work today to see what was on some of them. I came across something I had written when I was in highschool and I thought I would share. It's funny how serious things seemed back then.... how clueless I was as to how much there was to come and how much I would go through before I would even realize myself. I don't remember now what inspired it, but it seemed appropriate for the New Year. And it made me grateful that I held out and took my own advice... (please excuse the typos and grammer, this was written over ten years ago)
Ultimate Happiness
I’m writing this in an attempt to put all of the happiness I’ve felt lately and all of the pain that I’ve rid myself of into words. Anyone that I choose to let read this, is someone that I love and care about and think that they deserve all of the happiness and love that I feel as well.
Let’s start off by asking ourselves a simple question. What do we deserve out of life? So often I look at my friends and those I love and everyone is settling for whatever they can get a hold of, and then looking no further. I myself was willing to settle for what I thought was all I could get out of life, not even realizing the possibilities and what it would feel like to reach what I call “My ultimate Happiness”. It is so hard to find even a good friend, so why do we settle so quickly for a life long mate, when we can go through friends like underwear? Because deep down inside everyone wants to be loved and everyone wants to give love. Once they feel that this is what they are sharing with someone, they feel their search is over. But until you really truly can look around you and realize that love is not just a feeling you share with a boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife, but a feeling you can share with every single person you come across on a day to day basis, can we only begin to imagine the possibilities if truly falling in love.
Can you imagine what that would feel like? To stand in that checkout lane at the grocery store and feel love towards the cashier? Of course that sounds silly, but if you love yourself so much and you are so incredibly happy with yourself and the way you are and the way you treat others, loving your checker just comes naturally. Only then can you imagine the love you could really feel and share with another person when you are truly “in love”.
Can you imagine meeting someone that can read your soul? Someone that can tell what your thinking by the way you twitched your nose when you thought of something? And of course you know all of their hopes and dreams and wish with everything that you have that they all come true for them simply because they have become apart of you, and their hopes and dreams are now yours as well, just like yours have becomes theirs. You know all of this about each other because you take every spare minute you have to learn as much about them as you possibly can because they fascinate you this much. You no longer have your own seperate little world, where so many of your thoughts and aspirations that you think on a daily basis go unheard and unsaid. You’ll have someone right there wanting to know, dying to know, what it is your thinking and hoping you’ll share.
This person will be someone who you can wake up in the morning next to everyday for the rest of your life, turn over towards them and look into their face with no regrets. You can look into their eyes and truly know you couldn’t possibly be any happier than this person has made you. Do you feel that kind of love with the person you are with now? Maybe you don’t think you deserve that kind of love. Maybe you’re just too scared. Scared of losing what you have and risking it all to find your own “Ultimate happiness”. That is where I think people lack love for themselves. If you are only settling for that common love that any human being can feel towards another, a love you can feel towards your dog as well, then you are only depriving yourself of all the happiness in the world.
Have you ever heard the saying about marriages with best friends work out the best? Well, if you have found someone who meets all the expectations of a “best friend” and who on top of that can share your most intimate moments with, then my friend, you have found someone worth holding on to! If the thought of calling this person names out of anger, or them doing the same to you, makes you want to cry, then there is someone you can consider your kindred spirit. It’s not about money, it’s not about your social status in society, or even about convenience. Never give up the rest of your life to someone because it’s convenient. It’s not fair to either person.
Everyone hears about all of the wonderful things they can feel when they are in love, but so little people believe in them and think that that kind of love is out there for them. It hurts me so much to see my friends in relationships where they are constantly getting hurt and hurting someone back as well. These are people that I love and care about and think that they deserve the same kind of love that I do. I can understand why they settle for this, because I almost settled for it too. How can you know there’s so much better out there for you when you haven’t seen it or touched it? Does the idea of being alone scare you so much, that it’s easier to compromise a little of your happiness to not have to be alone. My suggestion to all of those that feel this way is to step outside if your relationship and truly try to look at it from a outsiders point of view. Pretend you are your mother or father who always wants the best for you, and thinks you deserve only that. Do you know deep down in your heart that there is no one else who could make you any happier and that you could love anymore. Whenever you dreamed of falling in love and meeting that special someone that you would spend the rest of your life with, does the person you are with now meet all of those expectations?
If they don’t, maybe you can be content with what you have anyway. and if so you need not read any further. But if not, if you think you deserve better, you need to make up your mind to find better. And you need to start with loving yourself a lot more. I don’t mean to become conceited and think you are better than everyone, but you need to realize what you are worth and then you will get what you deserve. Try to talk to someone everyday, someone that you’ve never talked to before, learn things from others. Sometimes the best advice can be found in the most unexpected places. You’ll begin to feel better already, I promise. Suround yourself by your friends and people who truly love you and care about you, they will help you see what a wonderful person you are and help you realize that there is someone out there who can help you feel like this everyday for the rest of your life.
This isn’t meant to sound like advice for people who are depressed and hate themselves and their lives. But you’d be so surprised if you heard all of the conversations I’ve had lately with so many people, and how many of them do not even realize their own self worth. These are usually the ones who have settled for just a taste of happiness. Most people probably go their whole lives without ever really feeling true love. Some may say what they don’t know might hurt them. But I think that what they can learn can set them free. Who should be more responsible for your own happiness other than yourself? No one. No one can make you happier than you can. You are the one who chooses who you surround yourself with on a day to day basis. If you constantly keep going back to those who do not truly appreciate you and know how important you are and what a neat person you are, than of course you are not going to realize what you may truly mean to someone else and what you should mean to yourself! If you are a truly happy person and truly feel ultimate happiness with someone else than you have accomplished so much more than those who don’t even take the time to realize it’s out there.
Ultimate Happiness
I’m writing this in an attempt to put all of the happiness I’ve felt lately and all of the pain that I’ve rid myself of into words. Anyone that I choose to let read this, is someone that I love and care about and think that they deserve all of the happiness and love that I feel as well.
Let’s start off by asking ourselves a simple question. What do we deserve out of life? So often I look at my friends and those I love and everyone is settling for whatever they can get a hold of, and then looking no further. I myself was willing to settle for what I thought was all I could get out of life, not even realizing the possibilities and what it would feel like to reach what I call “My ultimate Happiness”. It is so hard to find even a good friend, so why do we settle so quickly for a life long mate, when we can go through friends like underwear? Because deep down inside everyone wants to be loved and everyone wants to give love. Once they feel that this is what they are sharing with someone, they feel their search is over. But until you really truly can look around you and realize that love is not just a feeling you share with a boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife, but a feeling you can share with every single person you come across on a day to day basis, can we only begin to imagine the possibilities if truly falling in love.
Can you imagine what that would feel like? To stand in that checkout lane at the grocery store and feel love towards the cashier? Of course that sounds silly, but if you love yourself so much and you are so incredibly happy with yourself and the way you are and the way you treat others, loving your checker just comes naturally. Only then can you imagine the love you could really feel and share with another person when you are truly “in love”.
Can you imagine meeting someone that can read your soul? Someone that can tell what your thinking by the way you twitched your nose when you thought of something? And of course you know all of their hopes and dreams and wish with everything that you have that they all come true for them simply because they have become apart of you, and their hopes and dreams are now yours as well, just like yours have becomes theirs. You know all of this about each other because you take every spare minute you have to learn as much about them as you possibly can because they fascinate you this much. You no longer have your own seperate little world, where so many of your thoughts and aspirations that you think on a daily basis go unheard and unsaid. You’ll have someone right there wanting to know, dying to know, what it is your thinking and hoping you’ll share.
This person will be someone who you can wake up in the morning next to everyday for the rest of your life, turn over towards them and look into their face with no regrets. You can look into their eyes and truly know you couldn’t possibly be any happier than this person has made you. Do you feel that kind of love with the person you are with now? Maybe you don’t think you deserve that kind of love. Maybe you’re just too scared. Scared of losing what you have and risking it all to find your own “Ultimate happiness”. That is where I think people lack love for themselves. If you are only settling for that common love that any human being can feel towards another, a love you can feel towards your dog as well, then you are only depriving yourself of all the happiness in the world.
Have you ever heard the saying about marriages with best friends work out the best? Well, if you have found someone who meets all the expectations of a “best friend” and who on top of that can share your most intimate moments with, then my friend, you have found someone worth holding on to! If the thought of calling this person names out of anger, or them doing the same to you, makes you want to cry, then there is someone you can consider your kindred spirit. It’s not about money, it’s not about your social status in society, or even about convenience. Never give up the rest of your life to someone because it’s convenient. It’s not fair to either person.
Everyone hears about all of the wonderful things they can feel when they are in love, but so little people believe in them and think that that kind of love is out there for them. It hurts me so much to see my friends in relationships where they are constantly getting hurt and hurting someone back as well. These are people that I love and care about and think that they deserve the same kind of love that I do. I can understand why they settle for this, because I almost settled for it too. How can you know there’s so much better out there for you when you haven’t seen it or touched it? Does the idea of being alone scare you so much, that it’s easier to compromise a little of your happiness to not have to be alone. My suggestion to all of those that feel this way is to step outside if your relationship and truly try to look at it from a outsiders point of view. Pretend you are your mother or father who always wants the best for you, and thinks you deserve only that. Do you know deep down in your heart that there is no one else who could make you any happier and that you could love anymore. Whenever you dreamed of falling in love and meeting that special someone that you would spend the rest of your life with, does the person you are with now meet all of those expectations?
If they don’t, maybe you can be content with what you have anyway. and if so you need not read any further. But if not, if you think you deserve better, you need to make up your mind to find better. And you need to start with loving yourself a lot more. I don’t mean to become conceited and think you are better than everyone, but you need to realize what you are worth and then you will get what you deserve. Try to talk to someone everyday, someone that you’ve never talked to before, learn things from others. Sometimes the best advice can be found in the most unexpected places. You’ll begin to feel better already, I promise. Suround yourself by your friends and people who truly love you and care about you, they will help you see what a wonderful person you are and help you realize that there is someone out there who can help you feel like this everyday for the rest of your life.
This isn’t meant to sound like advice for people who are depressed and hate themselves and their lives. But you’d be so surprised if you heard all of the conversations I’ve had lately with so many people, and how many of them do not even realize their own self worth. These are usually the ones who have settled for just a taste of happiness. Most people probably go their whole lives without ever really feeling true love. Some may say what they don’t know might hurt them. But I think that what they can learn can set them free. Who should be more responsible for your own happiness other than yourself? No one. No one can make you happier than you can. You are the one who chooses who you surround yourself with on a day to day basis. If you constantly keep going back to those who do not truly appreciate you and know how important you are and what a neat person you are, than of course you are not going to realize what you may truly mean to someone else and what you should mean to yourself! If you are a truly happy person and truly feel ultimate happiness with someone else than you have accomplished so much more than those who don’t even take the time to realize it’s out there.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
T-minus 4 days!
The hubs took a pic of my belly on Sunday. Here I am at 39 weeks and 2 days! I can't believe how huge my belly is and it feels even bigger!
It is becoming quite a job to lug this thing around. I have been having contractions constantly, but I haven't really been feeling them. I know they are there though because my belly becomes hard as a rock, then soft, then hard again, then soft again. These are the Braxton Hicks contractions. I have been having them all the time lately, but fortunately I don't feel most of them, except for the change in my belly's firmness. Although I have had some of the shooting pain down in my pelvis.
The pelvic pressure has not let up. I have realized that sitting up straight in a chair, like at work or at the kitchen table, makes it much worse. So I have been trying to get up and walk around alot while at work and sit leaning back while I am at home. It does seem to help. Also getting down on all fours and doing cat stretches brings some relief as well, if only just a little.
Warning: The rest of this paragraph may be TMI, so skip ahead if you don't want to hear it. I have been having some definite signs of impending labor. After I had my ob exam last Monday, there was quite a bit of blood mixed in with my urine. It was most likely membranes rupturing caused by the exam. After a couple of days, this went away and it was pretty much back to normal. Now, I am pretty sure I have been losing my mucus plug in pieces here and there over the last couple of days and and also having some "bloody show" (why can't they call it something less disgusting sounding?).
As gross and uncomfortable as this all is, I still get very excited when these things occur. They are signs that things are happening and each thing is bringing me closer to meeting my baby!
We didn't do much this weekend but relax. Friday night we had some friends over, we ordered pizza and watched the Cardinals game. We tried out my New Native Sling on their little baby and she really seemed to like it. She was pretty fussy at first but once she settled down into she really seemed to relax. They fed her her bottle while she was in there and it really seemed to work out great. They aren't really into the whole "babywearing thing", so they kinda blew it off, but I thought it was pretty cool. It made me really excited to try out all my wraps and slings on my little munchkin.
Which reminds me. I am going to pick up a new wrap today from a lady off craigslist. She is selling me her Sleepy Wrap for only $15. Yay!! Its alot like my moby wrap only softer. The moby wrap is a tan color, the new sleepy wrap is gray like in the picture below. It's nice to have color choices for different outfits...
After our guests left Friday night, Joe and I watched The Watchmen. I had heard bad reviews, so my expectations were not that high. But I am a sucker for super hero/comic book movies so we watched it anyway. I actually thought it was pretty good, but it did seem to drag on at times.
Saturday we went grocery shopping. This was a full-on shopping extravaganza. We had gone through all of the sale ads and picked out what we wanted on sale at the different stores. We went to 5 different grocery stores! They are all really close to each other so we didn't spend alot of money in gas or anything, but we did save alot of money and more importantly, I got some exercise in. We also found a retro version of Monopoly on clearance. I hadn't played in atleast 20 years so we decided to get it. We played after lunch and I totally won! Granted I was having some amazing luck with my dice rolling (doubles queen), but still it was fun to win. Later that night we watched Labor Pains with Lindsay Lohan. Totally cheesetastic, but it was kinda entertaining since I am so pregnant right now.
Joe has been cooking our meals all weekend. Except breakfast, I have still been doing that. I guess I have more energy first thing in the morning. Last night Joe made us some chicken out on the grill and some mac and cheese. Here is the chef in the kitchen. I sure do love this guy!
We haven't made any plans for the week before my due date, so I feel like we are just waiting for me to go into labor. The only thing I have going on is a Le Leche League meeting tomorrow night. I would like to get in one more meeting before she gets here, but ofcourse I wouldn't choose to put off her arrival if I had a choice.
I have a doctors appointment today after I get off work. I am really hoping that there has been some progress. I really feel like there has. It would really be nice if, after my cervix exam, they said "Oh you need to head to the hospital straight away! This baby is coming tonight!"
Ahhh... one can dream can't they?
It is becoming quite a job to lug this thing around. I have been having contractions constantly, but I haven't really been feeling them. I know they are there though because my belly becomes hard as a rock, then soft, then hard again, then soft again. These are the Braxton Hicks contractions. I have been having them all the time lately, but fortunately I don't feel most of them, except for the change in my belly's firmness. Although I have had some of the shooting pain down in my pelvis.The pelvic pressure has not let up. I have realized that sitting up straight in a chair, like at work or at the kitchen table, makes it much worse. So I have been trying to get up and walk around alot while at work and sit leaning back while I am at home. It does seem to help. Also getting down on all fours and doing cat stretches brings some relief as well, if only just a little.
Warning: The rest of this paragraph may be TMI, so skip ahead if you don't want to hear it. I have been having some definite signs of impending labor. After I had my ob exam last Monday, there was quite a bit of blood mixed in with my urine. It was most likely membranes rupturing caused by the exam. After a couple of days, this went away and it was pretty much back to normal. Now, I am pretty sure I have been losing my mucus plug in pieces here and there over the last couple of days and and also having some "bloody show" (why can't they call it something less disgusting sounding?).
As gross and uncomfortable as this all is, I still get very excited when these things occur. They are signs that things are happening and each thing is bringing me closer to meeting my baby!
We didn't do much this weekend but relax. Friday night we had some friends over, we ordered pizza and watched the Cardinals game. We tried out my New Native Sling on their little baby and she really seemed to like it. She was pretty fussy at first but once she settled down into she really seemed to relax. They fed her her bottle while she was in there and it really seemed to work out great. They aren't really into the whole "babywearing thing", so they kinda blew it off, but I thought it was pretty cool. It made me really excited to try out all my wraps and slings on my little munchkin.
Which reminds me. I am going to pick up a new wrap today from a lady off craigslist. She is selling me her Sleepy Wrap for only $15. Yay!! Its alot like my moby wrap only softer. The moby wrap is a tan color, the new sleepy wrap is gray like in the picture below. It's nice to have color choices for different outfits...
After our guests left Friday night, Joe and I watched The Watchmen. I had heard bad reviews, so my expectations were not that high. But I am a sucker for super hero/comic book movies so we watched it anyway. I actually thought it was pretty good, but it did seem to drag on at times.
Saturday we went grocery shopping. This was a full-on shopping extravaganza. We had gone through all of the sale ads and picked out what we wanted on sale at the different stores. We went to 5 different grocery stores! They are all really close to each other so we didn't spend alot of money in gas or anything, but we did save alot of money and more importantly, I got some exercise in. We also found a retro version of Monopoly on clearance. I hadn't played in atleast 20 years so we decided to get it. We played after lunch and I totally won! Granted I was having some amazing luck with my dice rolling (doubles queen), but still it was fun to win. Later that night we watched Labor Pains with Lindsay Lohan. Totally cheesetastic, but it was kinda entertaining since I am so pregnant right now.
Joe has been cooking our meals all weekend. Except breakfast, I have still been doing that. I guess I have more energy first thing in the morning. Last night Joe made us some chicken out on the grill and some mac and cheese. Here is the chef in the kitchen. I sure do love this guy!
We haven't made any plans for the week before my due date, so I feel like we are just waiting for me to go into labor. The only thing I have going on is a Le Leche League meeting tomorrow night. I would like to get in one more meeting before she gets here, but ofcourse I wouldn't choose to put off her arrival if I had a choice.
I have a doctors appointment today after I get off work. I am really hoping that there has been some progress. I really feel like there has. It would really be nice if, after my cervix exam, they said "Oh you need to head to the hospital straight away! This baby is coming tonight!"
Ahhh... one can dream can't they?
Thursday, August 27, 2009
I am sooooo ready to do this!
I am sooooo ready to have this baby! The last couple weeks of pregnancy are rough. The waiting game is really tough... but the closer I get, the more uncomfortable I get, and that is the worst part by far. I don't want to complain too much... but its getting hard to think of much else other then just how uncomfortable I am getting.
My ankle is really hurting bad from all this baby weight. I am okay first thing in the morning, but after a while I am limping around. And ofcourse the waddling. That is pretty much a full time thing now.
I can't bend over to pick up anything anymore. Wiping my vajayjay after I pee can be a challenge. Sometimes are more difficult then others, depending on the positioning of the baby at the time.
I love taking showers, they relax my body and make me feel so good, but I dread the end, after I turn off the water and exit. Getting out of the shower and drying myself off without falling over or passing out is not an easy task. I am usually so exhausted by the time I complete my shower and after shower activities, that I have to lay down and relax to catch my breath and center myself.
My pelvic area is what is bothering me the most. There is so much pressure on it right now from the baby moving down, it almost feels like its pulling and ripping apart. Sharp pains are constantly shooting up it. Rolling from one side to another while I am in bed has become so painful, I wonder if I am literally about to tear my pelvic area in half. Sitting in the chair at work makes it so much worse. I left work early yesterday and will be leaving early today too. I just can't handle sitting at my desk for too long.
I planned on working right up until the baby is born. After talking to my boss, I am now working on a day-to-day basis. I pretty much come in in the morning and hang in there as long as I can. Once I get too uncomfortable, I head home.
Then there is the utter exhaustion. In my first trimester, I was like a zombie. I couldn't even think straight and I was always in a fog. Now atleast, I have my wits about me. I am able to think clearly, but I am just too tired physically to do much of anything. I am so glad I already completed everything that I wanted to, so now I can just try to relax and wait for her to get here.
Enough complaining, really I just wanted to put it out there and now I will shut up about it. Like I keep telling myself, she will be here any day and all of this will be worth it!
I would also like to acknowledge my husband. He has been absolutely amazing. He has been helping to keep things cleaned up, doing the dishes, and helping out alot with dinner. He has actually been making most of the dinners, and I will help out a little. But aside from his help around the house, the emotional support he has been giving me is what has really been helping me out the most. He's like my own personal pep squad. He still tells me how beautiful I look and how I am the cutest pregnant girl he has ever seen. I don't really believe him, but it still makes me feel good when he says it. He tells me what a good job I am doing "growing the baby" and how amazing I am. He tells me a hundred times a day how much he loves me and how excited he is about the start of our little family.
He has been completely involved in "baby preparation" as well. He has read some of the books I have picked up. We have been watching a childbirth video, instead of taking the class at the hospital, and its really cute when he brings up things from the video and points them out as they come up in our pregnancy. He is taking his role as "coach" very seriously... which is good cuz I am really going to need his support with no epidural!
It amazes me that not that long ago, we were having such a hard time connecting and how different things felt. Our relationship is in such a different place now. At the time, it felt so dramatic, and it seemed so far from where I wanted us (needed us) to be. As I look back, I realize it was just a wrinkle in time, one we would have no problem smoothing out, as we both had the love and desire necessary. But it is not a place I want to re-visit, and I am going to try really hard to make sure I do my best to keep us from going there again.
It really goes to show you how you must nurture and tend to your relationship, never take things for granted and always consider the other person's feelings and how you are affecting them. No matter how strong you think your bond is, no matter how deep your connection feels, you can't forget to tell your partner and let them know that you still feel the same way. No matter what you may be going through, you have to remember that you are part of a team and that the other person still needs you. I had forgotten that for a minute, and our relationship suffered. Joe reminded me. I am so grateful that he did, and that we were able to get things back on track so quickly. I can't imagine how different and how much harder things would be right now, without him here by my side, getting through this together.
So I am ready. We are ready. We are so ready to meet this little baby and share our lives with her. Any day now... any day!!
My ankle is really hurting bad from all this baby weight. I am okay first thing in the morning, but after a while I am limping around. And ofcourse the waddling. That is pretty much a full time thing now.
I can't bend over to pick up anything anymore. Wiping my vajayjay after I pee can be a challenge. Sometimes are more difficult then others, depending on the positioning of the baby at the time.
I love taking showers, they relax my body and make me feel so good, but I dread the end, after I turn off the water and exit. Getting out of the shower and drying myself off without falling over or passing out is not an easy task. I am usually so exhausted by the time I complete my shower and after shower activities, that I have to lay down and relax to catch my breath and center myself.
My pelvic area is what is bothering me the most. There is so much pressure on it right now from the baby moving down, it almost feels like its pulling and ripping apart. Sharp pains are constantly shooting up it. Rolling from one side to another while I am in bed has become so painful, I wonder if I am literally about to tear my pelvic area in half. Sitting in the chair at work makes it so much worse. I left work early yesterday and will be leaving early today too. I just can't handle sitting at my desk for too long.
I planned on working right up until the baby is born. After talking to my boss, I am now working on a day-to-day basis. I pretty much come in in the morning and hang in there as long as I can. Once I get too uncomfortable, I head home.
Then there is the utter exhaustion. In my first trimester, I was like a zombie. I couldn't even think straight and I was always in a fog. Now atleast, I have my wits about me. I am able to think clearly, but I am just too tired physically to do much of anything. I am so glad I already completed everything that I wanted to, so now I can just try to relax and wait for her to get here.
Enough complaining, really I just wanted to put it out there and now I will shut up about it. Like I keep telling myself, she will be here any day and all of this will be worth it!
I would also like to acknowledge my husband. He has been absolutely amazing. He has been helping to keep things cleaned up, doing the dishes, and helping out alot with dinner. He has actually been making most of the dinners, and I will help out a little. But aside from his help around the house, the emotional support he has been giving me is what has really been helping me out the most. He's like my own personal pep squad. He still tells me how beautiful I look and how I am the cutest pregnant girl he has ever seen. I don't really believe him, but it still makes me feel good when he says it. He tells me what a good job I am doing "growing the baby" and how amazing I am. He tells me a hundred times a day how much he loves me and how excited he is about the start of our little family.
He has been completely involved in "baby preparation" as well. He has read some of the books I have picked up. We have been watching a childbirth video, instead of taking the class at the hospital, and its really cute when he brings up things from the video and points them out as they come up in our pregnancy. He is taking his role as "coach" very seriously... which is good cuz I am really going to need his support with no epidural!
It amazes me that not that long ago, we were having such a hard time connecting and how different things felt. Our relationship is in such a different place now. At the time, it felt so dramatic, and it seemed so far from where I wanted us (needed us) to be. As I look back, I realize it was just a wrinkle in time, one we would have no problem smoothing out, as we both had the love and desire necessary. But it is not a place I want to re-visit, and I am going to try really hard to make sure I do my best to keep us from going there again.
It really goes to show you how you must nurture and tend to your relationship, never take things for granted and always consider the other person's feelings and how you are affecting them. No matter how strong you think your bond is, no matter how deep your connection feels, you can't forget to tell your partner and let them know that you still feel the same way. No matter what you may be going through, you have to remember that you are part of a team and that the other person still needs you. I had forgotten that for a minute, and our relationship suffered. Joe reminded me. I am so grateful that he did, and that we were able to get things back on track so quickly. I can't imagine how different and how much harder things would be right now, without him here by my side, getting through this together.
So I am ready. We are ready. We are so ready to meet this little baby and share our lives with her. Any day now... any day!!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Are we there yet?
I feel like all I talk about or think about anymore is having this baby. But I guess with only 3 weeks to go until my due date and my physical state making it impossible for me to forget that I am pregnant, what else can you expect?
I guess I could talk about food... that is something I still enjoy from my past life...
I feel a huge responsibility to take in as much information as I can, atleast when it comes to important topics, where I have to make decisions that can affect the rest of her life. Sometimes I feel like I need to just relax more and take things as they come, but I can't help feeling like it is part of my job as her mother. I don't want to give the impression that I am becoming one of those overly protective, paranoid, get-all-my-answers-from-books type of mothers, because I don't feel I am going in that direction, but I have always been a "planner" and I have always enjoyed thoroughly educating myself on something before I dive right in. I don't think that becoming a mother of all things, should be completely different. I know there are many things that will be learned as I go, but I feel that if I arm myself with some information, it will help my transition into motherhood advance more smoothly.
I am having a really hard time choosing her pediatrician. I have interviewed some, but still haven't found "the one". I have high hopes for the doctor we are meeting with on Tuesday. She came highly recommended and has a great background both in education and experience. I am hoping our search can end there. I also know she is comfortable with working around parent's vaccine concerns, and that is important. I want a doctor who is an advocate for breastfeeding and has experience helping mothers with problems (just incase I have any). I know that I will never find a doctor that has everything I am looking for, but there are a few things that are extra important to me, for my family, and I am hoping that our doctor will atleast match up in those areas.
Currently I am reading Dr. Sears' book about vaccinations. I wasn't sure what to expect when I started reading it, but I was relieved to find it wasn't an anti-vaccine book. I did start reading another one that was completely anti-vaccine. I think it overdramatized the facts and gave me hyperbolic reasons and examples to avoid vaccinating. I put it down and moved on. I don't think all vaccines are bad and I don't believe there is a direct correlation between shots and autism. But I do feel some may be unnecessary and I wanted a book that would give me information, both pros and cons, so I could weigh my options and make my own educated decisions, based on facts and accurate information, not on paranoid fear. I also don't feel comfortable giving her several shots at once and would like to spread them out more. I think this is just the book I was looking for. Hopefully I will feel more confident now about making decisions on the little munchkin's behalf.
I recently finished reading "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. I really liked this book. I have never felt comfortable with the "cry it out" methods, but wasn't sure about the complete opposite end of the spectrum either. This book had some great ideas and information that I believe we will actually use and be able to implement realistically into our lives. Its more geared towards families suffering from a very fussy baby with colic and my baby is going to be totally happy all the time and care free every minute, and sleep 6 hours a night within the first week, so I probably won't even need the info anyway (Yeah right!), but it doesn't hurt to be prepared.
She's not even here yet, and I am already addicted to baby carriers. I have a moby wrap, 2 New Native Carriers (slings), a Hot Sling and an Ellaroo Mei Tai. Most of these were bought 2nd hand or given to me 2nd hand from a friend, I did buy the moby wrap and the Mei Tai carrier I bought on sale for almost 1/2 off! So atleast I haven't had to invest too much into them. I am looking forward to trying them out and seeing which ones work best for us.
I am already dreading going back to work and I haven't even started my maternity leave. I have always wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom. I really think we could have been able to swing it if the economy hadn't gone down hill so much while the cost of living went up. I am still hoping that things will change and get better and I will be able to stay at home most of the time at a later date. I am very fortunate to be able to have an option that I am comfortable with and that really seems like the next best thing other then me or my husband being with her. I am hoping I am able to deal with this better then I think I will. Only time will tell.
I am going to share something mostly non-pregnancy related!
A while back you may remember me having some relationship issues with my husband. It was a really sad time for me and although I never feared it was anything we couldn't work out or get through, it broke my heart that we had found ourselves there in the first place. Especially since I found most of the blame and responsibility landing on my shoulders. Well I am happy to report that things are in a very different state these days. Infact, I think our relationship is now better then it has ever been. There is something new here, brought on partly I'm sure with going through a pregnancy together, but also in overcoming our problems and finding new ways to communicate and react to one another. I couldn't be happier with "us". And having so much loving support from my husband these days has sure made this pregnancy alot easier to get through as well. I am also proud of myself for seeing my fault(s) in everything and working hard to improve them. He too, has made some changes and we seem to be meshing very very well these days. There is no room for selfish pride in a good relationship. I know that now to be true more then ever.
I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon. I am now going every week. I am going to discuss my birth plan with her today and hopefully get a better idea of how things may go down. We watched a childbirth class on dvd the other night, in lue of taking the class at the hospital, and it had alot of information on it that I hadn't known before. I have alot to talk to my doc about!
The weekend is almost here, I hope everyone is having a good week!
I guess I could talk about food... that is something I still enjoy from my past life...
I feel a huge responsibility to take in as much information as I can, atleast when it comes to important topics, where I have to make decisions that can affect the rest of her life. Sometimes I feel like I need to just relax more and take things as they come, but I can't help feeling like it is part of my job as her mother. I don't want to give the impression that I am becoming one of those overly protective, paranoid, get-all-my-answers-from-books type of mothers, because I don't feel I am going in that direction, but I have always been a "planner" and I have always enjoyed thoroughly educating myself on something before I dive right in. I don't think that becoming a mother of all things, should be completely different. I know there are many things that will be learned as I go, but I feel that if I arm myself with some information, it will help my transition into motherhood advance more smoothly.
I am having a really hard time choosing her pediatrician. I have interviewed some, but still haven't found "the one". I have high hopes for the doctor we are meeting with on Tuesday. She came highly recommended and has a great background both in education and experience. I am hoping our search can end there. I also know she is comfortable with working around parent's vaccine concerns, and that is important. I want a doctor who is an advocate for breastfeeding and has experience helping mothers with problems (just incase I have any). I know that I will never find a doctor that has everything I am looking for, but there are a few things that are extra important to me, for my family, and I am hoping that our doctor will atleast match up in those areas.
Currently I am reading Dr. Sears' book about vaccinations. I wasn't sure what to expect when I started reading it, but I was relieved to find it wasn't an anti-vaccine book. I did start reading another one that was completely anti-vaccine. I think it overdramatized the facts and gave me hyperbolic reasons and examples to avoid vaccinating. I put it down and moved on. I don't think all vaccines are bad and I don't believe there is a direct correlation between shots and autism. But I do feel some may be unnecessary and I wanted a book that would give me information, both pros and cons, so I could weigh my options and make my own educated decisions, based on facts and accurate information, not on paranoid fear. I also don't feel comfortable giving her several shots at once and would like to spread them out more. I think this is just the book I was looking for. Hopefully I will feel more confident now about making decisions on the little munchkin's behalf.
I recently finished reading "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp. I really liked this book. I have never felt comfortable with the "cry it out" methods, but wasn't sure about the complete opposite end of the spectrum either. This book had some great ideas and information that I believe we will actually use and be able to implement realistically into our lives. Its more geared towards families suffering from a very fussy baby with colic and my baby is going to be totally happy all the time and care free every minute, and sleep 6 hours a night within the first week, so I probably won't even need the info anyway (Yeah right!), but it doesn't hurt to be prepared.
She's not even here yet, and I am already addicted to baby carriers. I have a moby wrap, 2 New Native Carriers (slings), a Hot Sling and an Ellaroo Mei Tai. Most of these were bought 2nd hand or given to me 2nd hand from a friend, I did buy the moby wrap and the Mei Tai carrier I bought on sale for almost 1/2 off! So atleast I haven't had to invest too much into them. I am looking forward to trying them out and seeing which ones work best for us.
I am already dreading going back to work and I haven't even started my maternity leave. I have always wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom. I really think we could have been able to swing it if the economy hadn't gone down hill so much while the cost of living went up. I am still hoping that things will change and get better and I will be able to stay at home most of the time at a later date. I am very fortunate to be able to have an option that I am comfortable with and that really seems like the next best thing other then me or my husband being with her. I am hoping I am able to deal with this better then I think I will. Only time will tell.
I am going to share something mostly non-pregnancy related!
A while back you may remember me having some relationship issues with my husband. It was a really sad time for me and although I never feared it was anything we couldn't work out or get through, it broke my heart that we had found ourselves there in the first place. Especially since I found most of the blame and responsibility landing on my shoulders. Well I am happy to report that things are in a very different state these days. Infact, I think our relationship is now better then it has ever been. There is something new here, brought on partly I'm sure with going through a pregnancy together, but also in overcoming our problems and finding new ways to communicate and react to one another. I couldn't be happier with "us". And having so much loving support from my husband these days has sure made this pregnancy alot easier to get through as well. I am also proud of myself for seeing my fault(s) in everything and working hard to improve them. He too, has made some changes and we seem to be meshing very very well these days. There is no room for selfish pride in a good relationship. I know that now to be true more then ever.
I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon. I am now going every week. I am going to discuss my birth plan with her today and hopefully get a better idea of how things may go down. We watched a childbirth class on dvd the other night, in lue of taking the class at the hospital, and it had alot of information on it that I hadn't known before. I have alot to talk to my doc about!
The weekend is almost here, I hope everyone is having a good week!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Presents, Dirty Toilets and Mushy brains.
I love buying gifts for people. I absolutely love shopping for someone and finding that perfect gift and watching them open it. I have so much fun and I pride myself in being good at tracking down a great gift that they will just love (and if anyone disagrees, no need to burst my bubble). This is especially true when it's for someone very close to me, like a family member or good friend or especially my husband. No matter who it's for though, I really enjoy shopping for gifts. But with the baby coming, and Joe's pay structure being changed around.... shopping for presents has lost some of it's luster. With our new slim and trim budget, and every dollar being delegated for bills, food, gas and other essentials, there's just no money left. It's downright frustrating. And it seems, that lately, there has been some sort of present purchasing opportunity around every corner. Now with father's day this weekend and Joe's birthday next week... well it's really starting to bum me out.
I know that you can make things for really cheap, but that's just not as easy to do for a guy... they aren't as sentimental about handmade things. It just doesn't work that well.
I am also aware that I am lucky considering we even have money right now for most of the things we need, and believe me, I really am very grateful for that. But still... I really wish I could give my hubby a birthday present that he loved, something that he really wants (and I have a long list of ideas ofcourse). With everything going on with his work, and me slacking in the "best wife ever" category... he deserves it! I know times are hard for everyone, and that Joe (or my dad) doesn't really care if I get them a present or not.
I did plan a little party for him, which I am excited about. Saturday night, we have reservations for dinner at our local hibachi grill for a group of 17 of us and then some more friends are joining us back at our house for dessert and drinks. My sister is making her "Holy Cow Cake", which is an event in itself. It will be good for us to relax and have a good time. I am mostly looking forward to Joe having some fun and getting to hang out with all of his friends.
This will also force me to get the house clean, which it is in desperate need of. I am normally on top of things when it comes to the house, but the further along I get in this pregnancy and the bigger I get (funny how that works), and the more difficult it gets for me to do hard core cleaning. I have no problem keeping stuff picked up and things in their place, but when it comes to scrubbing toilets and other duties of that nature, I have been slacking. And well, it's pretty obvious right now. There is no way I can have everyone over and not do something about it, so over the course of the next few evenings, I am on a mission.
Yesterday, after I got home from work and my OB appt, I was changing from my regular bra into my sports bra and I happen to catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Besides the usual shock at the immense new size of my breasts, I also caught something else. There was, what looked like, a new giant-sized mole on the bottom of my boob. I got closer to the mirror to inspect this strange new growth. What the hell was it?! I reached down to touch it and it flaked off into my hand. Upon closer inspection, I realized it was a sun-dried tomato! For lunch that day, I had a chicken linguini with cream sauce and sun-dried tomatoes. Aparantly, one of the little tomatoes, fell off my fork, down my shirt and had worked its way under my boob! I had been carrying the damn thing around with me all day and had no idea. With my new larger sized belly and breasts, I have noticed that alot of my food ends up on them. I am not quite sure how this happens. Maybe its because I can not scoot quite as close to the table as I could before, or maybe it's because of my new lack of coordination. But somehow, I manage to drop all sorts of things on my boobs, down my shirt and into my boobs, and sometimes, on my belly. Half the time, I don't even know it until someone points it out to me.
Which brings me to another subject... "Preggo Brain". This is not a myth people! This is the real deal. I have heard my other friends say many times... "oh I will just blame it on my Preggo Brain!", but I had no idea how serious this shit really was. I forget everything and anything. It's so frustrating! I looked at my planner Monday morning and saw that I had an OB appt right after work (I had also noticed this appt when I looked at my planner a few days before as well). But by the time I got off work, I had already completely forgotten, and I just went straight home. I called the next day to apologize and luckily they squeezed me in. I explained what happened and they just laughed and blamed it on my preggo brain!
Last night before dinner, I took one of my antibiotic pills for my kidney stone infection. Two minutes later, I couldn't remember if I had actually taken one or just thought about it. Luckily my friend Toni had been sitting right there and when I asked "Did I actually take one of those?", she had witnessed it and was able to tell me I had (after laughing at me ofcourse). How do you forget taking a pill two minutes ago? This morning I left for work, forgetting to take the pill altogether and my poor husband had to bring them to me on his way out to work. Have I mentioned how patient my husband is with me?
Not only do I forget things, but I actually forget how to talk sometimes! I will fumble over my words and insert the wrong word entirely. I will take two words in a sentence and switch them around. I will completely forget what word is appropriate for what I am trying to say! And it only seems to be getting worse. Even blogging has become more difficult... as I am often unable to figure out the right word to type for what I want to say.
I am hoping things go back to normal once I have the baby, or atleast get better. Someone, please tell me they do!
And on a very good night... my weigh-in at the OB yesterday was a big improvement! I had gained much less weight then I had on my previous visits. I was right on target with the "normal" amount of weight gain. I hadn't done that much differently, but I guess the little changes made a big difference. I was so relieved to not get another lecture. Instead I got a huge shot in my ass (my rogaine shot, cuz I am a negative blood type and Joe is a positive). Yay!
And what is with this week? Is it just me, or is this the longest week ever?
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Just a Quickie...
It's late and I am getting ready to go to bed, but I will be pretty busy most of the weekend and I just wanted to write a quick post as an update to my last one, along with some other quick thoughts.
Things have been wonderful. I hadn't realized how much things had changed until they started to get back to normal. After our talk the other night, every day has been better and I am so grateful that we love each other as much as we do and that our relationship has the amazing ability to heal and then grow even stonger then before. I am also very fortunate to have such a patient and quickly forgiving husband.
My belly has gotten drastically bigger in just the last week. I can really feel it starting to stretch out. And I can't believe how much the little munchkin has been moving around... she has been responding to music and my singing. She also responds when I eat or drink something really cold.
My acid reflux has been better. I have been taking a protonix every day before I go to bed and it seems to be helping alot. I am starting to have alot more trouble sleeping. My hips hurt alot sometimes and will wake me up, but then I just flip over and go back to sleep.
Tonight, Joe and I went to Walmart to do our grocery shopping at 11:00 pm. There was a couple in there with us and the girl was wearing a tiny cotton spaghetti strap dress with nothing underneath. You could see her boobs flopping around and one just kinda fell out while she was walking around. You really do see some interesting people at Walmart late at night.
I am going to try and add a pic tomorrow of my belly to show how much bigger it has gotten all of a sudden. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!
Things have been wonderful. I hadn't realized how much things had changed until they started to get back to normal. After our talk the other night, every day has been better and I am so grateful that we love each other as much as we do and that our relationship has the amazing ability to heal and then grow even stonger then before. I am also very fortunate to have such a patient and quickly forgiving husband.
My belly has gotten drastically bigger in just the last week. I can really feel it starting to stretch out. And I can't believe how much the little munchkin has been moving around... she has been responding to music and my singing. She also responds when I eat or drink something really cold.
My acid reflux has been better. I have been taking a protonix every day before I go to bed and it seems to be helping alot. I am starting to have alot more trouble sleeping. My hips hurt alot sometimes and will wake me up, but then I just flip over and go back to sleep.
Tonight, Joe and I went to Walmart to do our grocery shopping at 11:00 pm. There was a couple in there with us and the girl was wearing a tiny cotton spaghetti strap dress with nothing underneath. You could see her boobs flopping around and one just kinda fell out while she was walking around. You really do see some interesting people at Walmart late at night.
I am going to try and add a pic tomorrow of my belly to show how much bigger it has gotten all of a sudden. I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
"Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate." ~Barnett R. Brickner
Sometimes we move along through life and when things are not going well and just as we would like, we ignore things and pretend they are not happening, and it's always easier to look around you for blame. It can be hard to turn inward and realize that we are a big part of the problem and unless we figure things out and work on our own problems, things are not going to get better.
I had realized that lately my husband and I had been "drifting" and things seemed different, but I wasn't sure what the problem was. I immediately assumed it was my husband, and I wasn't sure what was going on. So for the past couple of weeks I have been trying to figure it out... asking him questions, asking how work was going, how his day went, and more then usual. Although we weren't "fighting" or getting into arguments.... and things appeared on the surface to be normal to outsiders, there had been a shift and things were definitely different. He seemed distant and sad. Was he worried about the baby? Stressed about the new pay structure at his job?
Joe has always been very affectionate and caring towards me. He would always go out of his way to do nice things for me and to say nice things to me. He is also normally very laid back and passive. He has an incredible sense of humor and is always very good at making me laugh and forgetting everything else. But lately, he just wasn't himself. He was more quiet, kept more to himself and was missing that "spark" that I loved so much and could always see in his eyes.
Finally, Monday night, everything came to a head.
I just couldn't take it anymore. I had to figure out what was wrong. I hated to see him like this. I wanted him to talk to me, to tell me what was wrong. Maybe I could help. Something though, had to give.
So I spent a half hour talking and talking and talking while he sat there and listened. I talked about us and how he had been acting so different. I talked about how sorry I was that our sex life had been slacking with the pregnancy. I told him how I knew something had changed with us and I was very worried about it. I didn't understand why and I wanted to know.
Finally he started to talk to me. And I soon realized that things were much worse then I had thought. And most of it was my fault. It was hard to hear, it was hard to take, but it was the truth and there was no denying it.
I have been so caught up in the arrival of our baby, our financial situation, and everything else going on, that I forgot to keep up with my relationship with my husband. I'd like to blame it all on being pregnant, but this actually all started well before that. I had no idea, because frankly I didn't recognize a problem until it was almost too late.
I had been pushing him away. Not on purpose, but because of my actions (or lack of) and him not not being able to really communicate his problems with me, things got progressively worse. I have not always been the most affectionate and I took for granted his affections towards me. I didn't realize how lopsided things had been... Joe was giving and giving, and I was taking and taking, and not giving near as much in return. And this went on for so long that he had given up, deciding that this was who I was and that he couldn't change it. That maybe I didn't love him as much as he loved me. That for now on, he was going to try to look out for himself more and be more responsible for his own happiness.
When I fully realized this, I was filled with a sadness I had never known before. I was absolutely devastated. How could I let this man, who I loved more then anything else in this world, come to these conclusions and because of my actions? He had no idea how much I loved him and how much he meant to me and it was all a direct result of my inability to express to him how I feel and to show him how much I loved him. I wasn't always this way with him, but something changed over time, I started acting differently and expressing myself differently. I don't know exactly why or how this happened, but it happened and it has made a huge rift in our relationship and I didn't even realize it. How could I be so blind and insensitive?
And to top it off I can be controlling (or atleast perceived this way), and can be very particular about having things a certain way. Sometimes Joe is so passive he lets things slide and I don't even realize its bothering him. He has been feeling like he was just a paycheck to me and all I was concerned about was myself and the baby!
Ofcourse, all of these things couldn't be any further from the truth. But this is the way that he felt. And whether it was true or not, how could I ever make my husband feel this way? I had been insensitive. I had been taking him for granted. And I had been neglecting our relationship. How could I have not seen this? It was one of the most ugliest, most horrible realizations that I have ever had to come to about myself. I would never, in a million years, want to purposely make my husband feel this way. And yet, I had caused this, and not even noticed. What the hell was wrong with me?!
After he first told me, it took a minute to sink in. But once I heard him, really heard him, I could see and understand why he felt this way. I felt like the smallest person on earth. I had taken what was an incredibly giving and loving man and was beginning to change him into something else, as a reaction to me. I wish so very badly, that he had been able to express these feelings to me sooner, to let me know how he was perceiving me and how I was making him feel. Instead, he kept quiet about it and let things become worse without me even knowing. But I should have noticed sooner.
At first, after everything was out in the air, I tried to tell him how sorry I was. I tried to tell him how much I loved him and how much he meant to me. But they were only words, and as they came out of my mouth, I could tell they didn't mean near as much to him as I wanted them too. I put my arms around him and hugged him with all of my might. I cried. I told him how sorry I was. He put his arms back around me, but it was automatic and I could tell as I looked into his eyes, that something was gone and I could feel my heart breaking as I realized that I was the one who took it away. I didn't know what else to say. I didn't know what else to do. I felt like my whole world had been turned upside down. There was a whole side to me that I hadn't even known, but that my husband knew very well. I didn't know how to fix it. All I could feel was the sadness and the guilt.
He told me he was leaving shortly after that. I didn't know where he was going. I didn't ask. After he left I crawled into bed and closed my eyes, wishing it was just a bad dream and it would all go away.
I don't know how much time had passed. I never opened my eyes. My head was aching from all of this. Finally he came home. I went out into the living room to talk to him. He pulled me really close, wrapped his arms around me and told me that he loved me. He told me that for once, he thought I had really heard him and that he knew things could be better. I can't even describe to you the feeling of relief and gratitude that washed over me.
Things are going to be better. And I am going to make sure of it. I am never going to take him or our marriage for granted again. I can't forget that everyone, man or woman, needs to be reminded of their importance in a relationship and that everyone needs to know how much they are loved and wanted. I have alot to work on. But I am grateful that I am able to accept responsibility, see my faults and can work towards fixing them. Sometimes it is hard to admit we are to blame and to look inward, but sometimes that is the only way to heal what is wounded.
Out of all of the things that have hurt me or caused me pain, nothing compares to the feeling I had when I realized that I had been the one to cause the pain to the person I loved the most. I am so very grateful that I now know, and before our baby arrives, while we still have some time to ourselves.
I have alot of hope and a renewed appreciation for my husband and our marriage. Sometimes we really need a kick in the ass to wake ourselves up!
I had realized that lately my husband and I had been "drifting" and things seemed different, but I wasn't sure what the problem was. I immediately assumed it was my husband, and I wasn't sure what was going on. So for the past couple of weeks I have been trying to figure it out... asking him questions, asking how work was going, how his day went, and more then usual. Although we weren't "fighting" or getting into arguments.... and things appeared on the surface to be normal to outsiders, there had been a shift and things were definitely different. He seemed distant and sad. Was he worried about the baby? Stressed about the new pay structure at his job?
Joe has always been very affectionate and caring towards me. He would always go out of his way to do nice things for me and to say nice things to me. He is also normally very laid back and passive. He has an incredible sense of humor and is always very good at making me laugh and forgetting everything else. But lately, he just wasn't himself. He was more quiet, kept more to himself and was missing that "spark" that I loved so much and could always see in his eyes.
Finally, Monday night, everything came to a head.
I just couldn't take it anymore. I had to figure out what was wrong. I hated to see him like this. I wanted him to talk to me, to tell me what was wrong. Maybe I could help. Something though, had to give.
So I spent a half hour talking and talking and talking while he sat there and listened. I talked about us and how he had been acting so different. I talked about how sorry I was that our sex life had been slacking with the pregnancy. I told him how I knew something had changed with us and I was very worried about it. I didn't understand why and I wanted to know.
Finally he started to talk to me. And I soon realized that things were much worse then I had thought. And most of it was my fault. It was hard to hear, it was hard to take, but it was the truth and there was no denying it.
I have been so caught up in the arrival of our baby, our financial situation, and everything else going on, that I forgot to keep up with my relationship with my husband. I'd like to blame it all on being pregnant, but this actually all started well before that. I had no idea, because frankly I didn't recognize a problem until it was almost too late.
I had been pushing him away. Not on purpose, but because of my actions (or lack of) and him not not being able to really communicate his problems with me, things got progressively worse. I have not always been the most affectionate and I took for granted his affections towards me. I didn't realize how lopsided things had been... Joe was giving and giving, and I was taking and taking, and not giving near as much in return. And this went on for so long that he had given up, deciding that this was who I was and that he couldn't change it. That maybe I didn't love him as much as he loved me. That for now on, he was going to try to look out for himself more and be more responsible for his own happiness.
When I fully realized this, I was filled with a sadness I had never known before. I was absolutely devastated. How could I let this man, who I loved more then anything else in this world, come to these conclusions and because of my actions? He had no idea how much I loved him and how much he meant to me and it was all a direct result of my inability to express to him how I feel and to show him how much I loved him. I wasn't always this way with him, but something changed over time, I started acting differently and expressing myself differently. I don't know exactly why or how this happened, but it happened and it has made a huge rift in our relationship and I didn't even realize it. How could I be so blind and insensitive?
And to top it off I can be controlling (or atleast perceived this way), and can be very particular about having things a certain way. Sometimes Joe is so passive he lets things slide and I don't even realize its bothering him. He has been feeling like he was just a paycheck to me and all I was concerned about was myself and the baby!
Ofcourse, all of these things couldn't be any further from the truth. But this is the way that he felt. And whether it was true or not, how could I ever make my husband feel this way? I had been insensitive. I had been taking him for granted. And I had been neglecting our relationship. How could I have not seen this? It was one of the most ugliest, most horrible realizations that I have ever had to come to about myself. I would never, in a million years, want to purposely make my husband feel this way. And yet, I had caused this, and not even noticed. What the hell was wrong with me?!
After he first told me, it took a minute to sink in. But once I heard him, really heard him, I could see and understand why he felt this way. I felt like the smallest person on earth. I had taken what was an incredibly giving and loving man and was beginning to change him into something else, as a reaction to me. I wish so very badly, that he had been able to express these feelings to me sooner, to let me know how he was perceiving me and how I was making him feel. Instead, he kept quiet about it and let things become worse without me even knowing. But I should have noticed sooner.
At first, after everything was out in the air, I tried to tell him how sorry I was. I tried to tell him how much I loved him and how much he meant to me. But they were only words, and as they came out of my mouth, I could tell they didn't mean near as much to him as I wanted them too. I put my arms around him and hugged him with all of my might. I cried. I told him how sorry I was. He put his arms back around me, but it was automatic and I could tell as I looked into his eyes, that something was gone and I could feel my heart breaking as I realized that I was the one who took it away. I didn't know what else to say. I didn't know what else to do. I felt like my whole world had been turned upside down. There was a whole side to me that I hadn't even known, but that my husband knew very well. I didn't know how to fix it. All I could feel was the sadness and the guilt.
He told me he was leaving shortly after that. I didn't know where he was going. I didn't ask. After he left I crawled into bed and closed my eyes, wishing it was just a bad dream and it would all go away.
I don't know how much time had passed. I never opened my eyes. My head was aching from all of this. Finally he came home. I went out into the living room to talk to him. He pulled me really close, wrapped his arms around me and told me that he loved me. He told me that for once, he thought I had really heard him and that he knew things could be better. I can't even describe to you the feeling of relief and gratitude that washed over me.
Things are going to be better. And I am going to make sure of it. I am never going to take him or our marriage for granted again. I can't forget that everyone, man or woman, needs to be reminded of their importance in a relationship and that everyone needs to know how much they are loved and wanted. I have alot to work on. But I am grateful that I am able to accept responsibility, see my faults and can work towards fixing them. Sometimes it is hard to admit we are to blame and to look inward, but sometimes that is the only way to heal what is wounded.
Out of all of the things that have hurt me or caused me pain, nothing compares to the feeling I had when I realized that I had been the one to cause the pain to the person I loved the most. I am so very grateful that I now know, and before our baby arrives, while we still have some time to ourselves.
I have alot of hope and a renewed appreciation for my husband and our marriage. Sometimes we really need a kick in the ass to wake ourselves up!
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Garage Sales, Baby Registering, and an Anniversary Make for a Busy Weekend!
Things have been busy!
I have been wanting to post, but it seems there is always something else to do. I need to catch up on everyone else too, so hopefully I will be able to do that today.
I finally finished cleaning and organizing my basement. You have no idea what a relief this is. Back in December our sump pump broke and our basement flooded. It was a huge mess! Right away Joe got everything cleaned up, mopped the floor with bleach water and wiped everything down that had gotten wet. Luckily most stuff was up off the floor or in some type of plastic container. A few things were ruined, but nothing really important. What was left, however, was a huge mess of boxes and containers that had been moved around to clean the floor and thrown where ever to get the water all dried up. The stack of new plastic tubs for organizing have been sitting there for almost 5 months, just waiting for me to fill them up with the mess of displaced items. So I marked off Thursday and Friday on my calendar and worked diligently until I was finished Friday night. Whew! I can finally check that off my list.
I also had a big new pile of items of things to sell on Craigslist. That's always fun! As of now, I have made $40 and still have some things in the works. Ofcourse, as of now, I have already spent that money too.
Saturday morning the hubs and I got up bright and early to hit the garage sales. My gal Toni met us about 6:30am. We all shoved down some McD's breakfast and left to meet my sis & her husband. The sales started at 7:00am and we were ready to go!
I love going to garage sales.
Especially when the whole neighborhood is in on it and you can just park your car and move from house to house. Garage sales are the epiphany of the old saying "One man's trash is another man's treasure". It seemed like there were less houses involved this year, but we still found some great deals. I was really hoping to find a little white bench for the nursery, but my hopes weren't too high for that. Would you believe it... one of the first houses we went to had a little white bench there with 3 cubby holes underneath to hold baskets! I gave the lady my $20 and Joe loaded it up in the car. Yay!! We also found an infant-to-toddler bath tub (the exact one I wanted - looked almost new), a diaper champ (pretty much brand new), some pregnancy and parenting books, and ofcourse Joe couldn't resist the little Mizzou onesies. I even found some maternity clothes and when I got home and tried them on, they all fit! Everyone else had given up long before us and headed home, but we hung in there, and I'd say it was a pretty successful morning.
After that, me and Joe went home and took a two hour nap. We were exhausted!
After we awoke, grabbed some lunch, and met up with someone from Craigslist who was buying a receiver from me, we headed to the mall to do some shopping and start our registry at Babies r Us. This was almost as exhausting as the garage sales. It was so overwhelming walking around and trying to figure out everything we needed. I kept having to stop and rest in the gliders. I was pooped. We finally decided to concentrate on the bigger items that we really wanted to see and touch in person, like the bedding and the stroller. The rest I could look at online and pick things out with the help of reviews from other parents.
Just because I am having a girl, does that mean her nursery has to be filled to the brim with everything pink or purple and covered in flowers? I was pretty frustrated with our choices of bedding. We finally settled on a pattern that seemed a little less frilly then the rest. But I certainly wasn't excited about it.
We left the store, stopped by my parents house, grabbed some dinner and finally head home. Once we got back to the house, my feet were swollen and I was so worn out, I didn't do much the rest of the night. Pregnancy is exhausting. And I am not even in my third trimester yet!
Sunday was our 1 year wedding anniversary!!
We had decided not to do much, other then have some dinner out and just hang out together. I went to a friend's baby shower in the afternoon, but after that we wanted to just relax and enjoy each other's company. We went out to dinner and then came back home with a movie. I went to get our wedding cake top out of the freezer and realized I probably should have done this much earlier. After unwrapping the cake from the layers of saran wrap and foil, which had been also vacuum sealed, I laid the cake layer on a plate. It was as hard as a rock and weighed twice as much. Right before we went to bed, we were able to cut off part of the edge and managed to get one bite each out of it. It wasn't that bad at all! I was amazed. I doubt we will be eating the rest though. There is something very unappetizing about a year old piece of cake. But keeping to the tradition did have its charms.
We didn't do anything fancy or exchange lavish gifts, but our anniversary was very meaningful none the less. Its hard to ever forget how much I love my husband and how much he means to me. He keeps me grounded, he makes me laugh, and most importantly he makes me happier then I ever thought I could be. I always know how much I am loved and how important I am to him. I really am very lucky.
Seeing him get so excited about our baby and watching the love for her already start to grow has made me love him even more. I can't wait to see him as a father.
Alright... enough mushy stuff!
I spent part of Saturday night and off-and-on Sunday searching on line for nursery bedding. I just couldn't settle on the foo-foo pink stuff we picked out at the store. I finally came across a bedding set that I absolutely loved! We weren't going to be able to register it, but I figured there was no way we were going to receive gifts for everything we needed anyway. It was just what I was looking for. And there was no pink anywhere!
For the record, I do not have a vendetta against pink (or flowers for that matter). I just don't think the entire nursery has to be completely covered in pink just to represent a room for a baby girl. It's a personal preference.
So I ordered it! I went ahead and ordered every accessory too. I'd rather be able to return something I don't need then not be able to order it later. Not only was it exactly what I wanted, but it was considerably cheaper then the original one I had registered for. Here it is:
We were already planning on painting a tree on the wall, so I even ordered the little wall appliques to put all around the tree just like in the picture. Our furniture is white, so I think the bedding will look even better on white. I can't wait until it arrives so we can figure out our paint colors and get to work!
Geez I am such a "new mom".
Okay... I could go on and on... but I better stop, this is already getting to be way too long. If you are still reading thanks for hanging in there and I am going to work on getting caught up on everyone else's blogs now.
Happy Tuesday!
I have been wanting to post, but it seems there is always something else to do. I need to catch up on everyone else too, so hopefully I will be able to do that today.
I finally finished cleaning and organizing my basement. You have no idea what a relief this is. Back in December our sump pump broke and our basement flooded. It was a huge mess! Right away Joe got everything cleaned up, mopped the floor with bleach water and wiped everything down that had gotten wet. Luckily most stuff was up off the floor or in some type of plastic container. A few things were ruined, but nothing really important. What was left, however, was a huge mess of boxes and containers that had been moved around to clean the floor and thrown where ever to get the water all dried up. The stack of new plastic tubs for organizing have been sitting there for almost 5 months, just waiting for me to fill them up with the mess of displaced items. So I marked off Thursday and Friday on my calendar and worked diligently until I was finished Friday night. Whew! I can finally check that off my list.
I also had a big new pile of items of things to sell on Craigslist. That's always fun! As of now, I have made $40 and still have some things in the works. Ofcourse, as of now, I have already spent that money too.
Saturday morning the hubs and I got up bright and early to hit the garage sales. My gal Toni met us about 6:30am. We all shoved down some McD's breakfast and left to meet my sis & her husband. The sales started at 7:00am and we were ready to go!
I love going to garage sales.
Especially when the whole neighborhood is in on it and you can just park your car and move from house to house. Garage sales are the epiphany of the old saying "One man's trash is another man's treasure". It seemed like there were less houses involved this year, but we still found some great deals. I was really hoping to find a little white bench for the nursery, but my hopes weren't too high for that. Would you believe it... one of the first houses we went to had a little white bench there with 3 cubby holes underneath to hold baskets! I gave the lady my $20 and Joe loaded it up in the car. Yay!! We also found an infant-to-toddler bath tub (the exact one I wanted - looked almost new), a diaper champ (pretty much brand new), some pregnancy and parenting books, and ofcourse Joe couldn't resist the little Mizzou onesies. I even found some maternity clothes and when I got home and tried them on, they all fit! Everyone else had given up long before us and headed home, but we hung in there, and I'd say it was a pretty successful morning.
After that, me and Joe went home and took a two hour nap. We were exhausted!
After we awoke, grabbed some lunch, and met up with someone from Craigslist who was buying a receiver from me, we headed to the mall to do some shopping and start our registry at Babies r Us. This was almost as exhausting as the garage sales. It was so overwhelming walking around and trying to figure out everything we needed. I kept having to stop and rest in the gliders. I was pooped. We finally decided to concentrate on the bigger items that we really wanted to see and touch in person, like the bedding and the stroller. The rest I could look at online and pick things out with the help of reviews from other parents.
Just because I am having a girl, does that mean her nursery has to be filled to the brim with everything pink or purple and covered in flowers? I was pretty frustrated with our choices of bedding. We finally settled on a pattern that seemed a little less frilly then the rest. But I certainly wasn't excited about it.
We left the store, stopped by my parents house, grabbed some dinner and finally head home. Once we got back to the house, my feet were swollen and I was so worn out, I didn't do much the rest of the night. Pregnancy is exhausting. And I am not even in my third trimester yet!
Sunday was our 1 year wedding anniversary!!
We had decided not to do much, other then have some dinner out and just hang out together. I went to a friend's baby shower in the afternoon, but after that we wanted to just relax and enjoy each other's company. We went out to dinner and then came back home with a movie. I went to get our wedding cake top out of the freezer and realized I probably should have done this much earlier. After unwrapping the cake from the layers of saran wrap and foil, which had been also vacuum sealed, I laid the cake layer on a plate. It was as hard as a rock and weighed twice as much. Right before we went to bed, we were able to cut off part of the edge and managed to get one bite each out of it. It wasn't that bad at all! I was amazed. I doubt we will be eating the rest though. There is something very unappetizing about a year old piece of cake. But keeping to the tradition did have its charms.
We didn't do anything fancy or exchange lavish gifts, but our anniversary was very meaningful none the less. Its hard to ever forget how much I love my husband and how much he means to me. He keeps me grounded, he makes me laugh, and most importantly he makes me happier then I ever thought I could be. I always know how much I am loved and how important I am to him. I really am very lucky.
Seeing him get so excited about our baby and watching the love for her already start to grow has made me love him even more. I can't wait to see him as a father.
Alright... enough mushy stuff!
I spent part of Saturday night and off-and-on Sunday searching on line for nursery bedding. I just couldn't settle on the foo-foo pink stuff we picked out at the store. I finally came across a bedding set that I absolutely loved! We weren't going to be able to register it, but I figured there was no way we were going to receive gifts for everything we needed anyway. It was just what I was looking for. And there was no pink anywhere!
For the record, I do not have a vendetta against pink (or flowers for that matter). I just don't think the entire nursery has to be completely covered in pink just to represent a room for a baby girl. It's a personal preference.
So I ordered it! I went ahead and ordered every accessory too. I'd rather be able to return something I don't need then not be able to order it later. Not only was it exactly what I wanted, but it was considerably cheaper then the original one I had registered for. Here it is:
We were already planning on painting a tree on the wall, so I even ordered the little wall appliques to put all around the tree just like in the picture. Our furniture is white, so I think the bedding will look even better on white. I can't wait until it arrives so we can figure out our paint colors and get to work!
Geez I am such a "new mom".
Okay... I could go on and on... but I better stop, this is already getting to be way too long. If you are still reading thanks for hanging in there and I am going to work on getting caught up on everyone else's blogs now.
Happy Tuesday!
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