“Those who wish to sing always find a song.” ~ Swedish Proverb

I warn you, this post will be LONG. I have a few things to update today. I have some good news about my job and the compromise my boss and I have come up with. I also have a pretty good idea of who will be watching my little one while I am working. But before I get to that, I have got to tell you all about the maternity pillow that the fedex driver delivered to my home yesterday. Please see last post for a photo.

I was skeptical at first. When I first unleashed what I am now going to refer to as The Beast, who was stuffed into an impossibly small box, I was concerned he (the beast is male, ofcourse) was going to take up too much room in the bed. I did get a little frustrated when I wrestled with him to remove his case for washing. I found later it was even more difficult to put back on, but I managed. When my hubs got home from his softball game, he stared warily at The Beast as it eyed him from the bed. He too was a little concerned about giving up some of his space. We have a queen sized mattress, but my hubs is 6'3" and tends to need a little more then his half. But at the end of the evening, we all climbed into the bed together and I settled into the arms of The Beast, a little unsure of what the night would bring. The Beast and I managed to stay within the boundaries of my half of the bed. The Beast was soft, but not too soft. He was firm, but not too firm. He felt just right. I could feel my stomach and my back being supported simultaneously, as my head comfortably rested at the top. One leg over, one leg under, and everything was being lifted, held in and fully supported. I was very hopeful and amazed. But the true test would be sleeping through the night.

My typical night as of late, has been spent tossing and turning, going from one very uncomfortable position to, at best, a slightly less uncomfortable one. In the morning I rise to deep throbbing pain in both of my hips, my shoulders ache, and I have terrible back pain.

But last night, I slept on a cloud.

I vaguely remember waking up in a foggyy haze, maybe twice, to go pee, then quickly drifting back to sleep when I returned. I haven't had such a good, restful nights sleep since.... well since before I started looking pregnant. I may have even been more comfortable then before I became pregnant. When I woke up, I had absolutely zero back pain, and even though there was a faint dull feeling of pain in my hips, it was barely noticeable, and it may have been an impovement still over how they had felt before I got into bed in the first place. I woke up refreshed and ready to go!

Lets just say I am ecstatic over how wonderful The Beast made me feel last night! I can not wait to return to his healing arms this evening. If you are pregnant, or if you know anyone that is, get this pillow! It is worth every penny, and many more! I am sure this pillow would do wonders for even those who are not pregnant, but have other issues that may cause them to have a hard time getting comfortable in bed. I don't know how easy it will be to give up The Beast post-pregnancy. He may just be around for a while.

If you are interested, you can find this amazing pillow here: The Beast

As far as my job situation after the munchkin is here, things are looking much better then they did last week. Its' amazing how things can seem so terrible at one moment, then nearly resolved the next. Yesterday morning, I came to him with some new ideas. I proposed that I come into work M-F from 9-1. I had originally been hoping to work 7-11, which would work much better for me, but 9-1 would allow for there to be someone else here when my boss was gone for his 11:30 - 1:00 lunch break every day, so that my coworker would not be left alone to hold down the fort. Supposedly, we have an office manager, but she is hit or miss... its a long story. I told him that I would then dedicate 4 hours each day to work from home as well. I assured him that my work would get done, that I would still have my head in the game, and asked that we atleast give it a try. He agreed! I wanted to cry, I was so relieved! Actually I did cry... these hormones make me cry pretty easily though.

So, for now, that is the plan.

I am still going to have to figure out how & where to breastpump atleast once during that time frame, but I am not going to worry about that just yet.

I have also been trying to figure out what to do about daycare. I will need someone to watch munchkin from about 8:30 - 1:30 each day. An actual daycare, with tons of kids running around, and minimum wage paid teenagers trying to keep them under control, totally FREAKS me out! I am actually very fortunate to have a few other options. I have atleast 3 friends that babysit already from home and have offered to babysit for me as well. But munchkin will only be 3 mos old when I have to start taking her to stay with someone else, and I have been freaking out about what will be the best situation for her. She will be a newborn and I really want her to go somewhere where there aren't alot of other kids already, as she will need lots of love and attention. I also needed someone that would be patient with me and my ideas for what is best for my baby (e.g. cloth diapering, organic and homemade baby foods, etc.) What are the chances of finding someone like that?

I dare say, I think I have found someone exactly like that.

I have a friend named Sarah, that I have known since highschool. We didn't hang out alot back then, but we had classes together, and we liked each other. A few years ago, we were reunited through myspace (ahh the wonders of online social networking sites) and quickly became good friends. I saw her for the first time in almost 10 years at her baby shower and over the past couple of years we have been hanging out. Our hubbys get along great and I have come to adore her little baby girl (who she lovingly refers to as Goo). Our personalities are actually alot alike and I have come to think of her as sort of a kindred spirit.

A couple months back, she mentioned that she was going to be staying home full time with Goo again (she went back to work for a short period of time), and to keep her in mind for babysitting. I wasn't sure how serious she was, or what she really meant by it, but she was immediately moved to the #1 spot on my list of hopeful babysitter situations.

So 2 nights ago, I called her up and talked to her about it. I won't bore you with all of the details, but she really seemed excited about babysitting for me! I went back and forth with her the next morning through email, and I was seriously crying as I read through one of her emails. Here is an excerpt:

I would do everything I could to help you feel comfortable when you leave her each day. I would take lots of pictures for you and camcorder everything so you wouldn't have to feel like you were missing out on anything for those hours each day you were apart. I'm sure it's so hard to try and come up with the best daycare arrangements. I totally understand how hard it could be to imagine leaving your infant with daycare workers making minimum wage and with so many other kids to watch and not being able to give as much attention and care to yours. Plus, all the sickness and colds and ear infections and everything that goes along with being in childcare. Goo hasn't been sick since she was born, while her friends her age have had everything from the croup, flu, colds, ear infections, sinus infections, stomach viruses, etc. She has never had anything like that. I am never sick either. I haven't had the flu in 20 years. Therefore, I feel you would be able to feel comfortable that your baby wasn't always being so exposed to so many germs and viruses constantly.

I would totally feel comfortable with whatever routine you wanted for her. For example, if you only feed her organic or homemade babyfoods, or certain sleep schedules or playtime allowances or certain rules. I would feel comfortable with whatever routine you needed. Also, being a breastfeeding mom myself, I understand that whole routine as well.

I just can not express how good I feel about Sarah watching my baby. Its not just knowing her like I do, and the things she said to me in her email. Maybe call it intuition, but I just feel really really good about it. For the first time since we had to face the idea of me not being able to stay home full time, and what the heck we were going to do instead, I feel like this might just be okay after all.

So there you have it. After all of the ups and downs I have had over the last couple of weeks, it feels so good to be able to write about some really positive things going on. As I type this, the little munchkin has been moving around more then ever and I am really feeling her movements! I guess she is excited about the turns of events as well!