Thursday, August 6, 2009

"A new baby is like the beginning of all things-wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities." ~ Eda J. Le Shan

I am exhausted. I am swollen. I am fat.

I feel like I am just dragging myself around the past couple of days. The heat and humidity has been in full force and the return of my cankles has been a clear indication. They are so swollen that I can feel them tingling and stretching my skin out. I feel as if I could take a needle and poke it into them to deflate them. They dont really hurt that much.. unless ofcourse I have to walk on them for more then 10-15 minutes.... then they start to throb a little. The swelling doesn't stop there. It extends all the way up past my knees.

I am waddling.

I haven't been sleeping very well at all. My belly has become so heavy that rolling from one side to another is painful. My husband now helps me up whenever he is around. I can still get up on my own, but it sure is easier when he grabs my arm and pulls. When we are laying in bed, he sticks his arm straight forward and makes a fist, so I can wrap my hand around it and use it help pull myself up. I don't even have to say anything anymore... I just stick out my hand and here comes his fist. The ab muscles just aren't what they used to be. I think back on how my belly used to look and how strong it was. Even the pics of my belly at 12 weeks makes me miss them. I am looking forward to having that back again some day.

My back is sore. So sore. It is in constant pain. The only time I feel relieved is the first couple of hours in the morning.

My boobs have reached a size I never knew was possible for me.

The munchkin has now found my rib cage and often enjoys sticking her feet up into it. It hasn't really started hurting yet, but it can get quite uncomfortable. She is really starting to fill up her room in there. Little feet pushing on my belly, is now often replaced with my entire belly being stretched and deformed into a different shape entirely. I actually find this to be pretty fascinating. I never tire of watching her move around in there. I love pushing on her feet and feeling her push back on my hand. She moves alot. I don't even bother with the kick counts... there is no point. She is constantly moving.

I am in the final month. I knew it would be uncomfortable and I knew it would be a strain on my body. That doesn't make it any easier though. And when the weather starts getting into the 90's and close to 100 degrees... everything that is uncomfortable is amplified.

Despite all of this, I am still so happy to be where I am. I am still so grateful for this little life growing inside of me and I feel as if I am overflowing with love for her already. I can not wait to meet her. I can not wait to hold her in my arms and wrap my love around her. I am excited for her to meet her daddy. He hasn't been able to bond with her yet like I have, with her growing inside of me. I am looking forward to watching him and seeing him as a father. He is so excited about her arrival and seeing his excitement and sharing this pregnancy experience with him has only made me love him more.

She will be here soon and our entire world is going to change. Not much about our lifestyle and our schedule will stay the same. But I welcome this. Although there will be sacrifices and things that I will miss, I am so inlove with this little baby and I know that everything will be worth it.

11 comments:

Jillian said...

i think u look great!!! But I feel your pain!! She will be here soon and u will forget all about it!!

Seraphina said...

While reading your post I was going "Yup...yup...yup..." I know exactly how you feel about your back aching, your inability to roll from side to side, the funny feeling of your feet swelling...Not only does my husband have to help me up out of bed, has to help me out of our car too (it's a Corolla so it's low to the ground), from restaurant booths, pretty much anything in which my butt is lower than my knees.

I know what you mean about feeling fat and missing how your body used to look.

I'm glad to read that you're still excited and happy though - I am too. :) One of the things my husband has a hard time understanding is that even though I might occassionally whine and complain about how uncomfortable I am I am so overwhelmed with happiness that we're going to have our baby soon it doesn't really matter that much.

I do think I'll prefer him being outside of me though...I'm kind of over being rented out like a condo.

Have you had any heartburn at night? I'm just now starting to get it a little and I'll have to sit up (usually at my computer browsing baby items I don't really need).

inkOBSESSIONdesigns said...

Awww...it is so sweet to hear you talk about how much you love the baby already. It will be so worth it when she is finally here! :)

Myshka said...

My little one is kicking me in the ribs as we speak. But at least we have some feisty babies, eh? Enjoy the last month as much as humanly possible- you're going to be such a great mummy!!!

Anrazel said...

I was so done by the end of my pregnancy...and I went a week after my due date. That was the worst week of my life. But also worth every minute! You have such a nice and positive attitude about it. Yes, some of it sucks, but the reward you get for all of your pain and suffering is the best things in the whole world!
I had a dream last night that I was pregnant and I could feel the baby moving around inside me. You will be happy when she is here, but you will also miss this too...at least a little bit!

Little T said...

You know how I feel about the invasion of the woman's body by baby. You are a champ and it will surely be worth it once you hold her. I am telling you. I think you will be a few weeks early. We will all hope so for your sake;-)

Badass Geek said...

I'm sorry for the discomfort, but like I'm sure you know, it will all be worth it in a few short weeks.

Emma Jewel said...

you'll get through it, sister. love you!

Brittany Ann said...

Hang in there! I can only imagine what a pain it is! But you're almost a momma! And we all can't wait to meet your baby! Almost there!

Gina said...

Man. I thought I was ready to get preggo again. And then I read this post. Just kidding. The big day will be here so soon!! I can't wait to meet her!!!

Maggie May said...

oh gosh i remember...your whole life is about to change, and your body is reminding you :)