Thursday, March 5, 2009

Everything grows rounder and wider and weirder, and I sit here in the middle of it all and wonder who in the world you will turn out to be.

Yesterday I had a relapse. Just when I thought I was starting to get some of my energy back, the fog set back in with a vengeance. I was just as exhausted yesterday as any other day during my first trimester. I even left work early just so I could go home and sleep. Its never a good thing, when you sit at your desk, your head bobbing forward and your eyes rolling back into your skull. I'm not possessed... I'm just pregnant! It makes me feel like I am back in high school again, when I would have the hardest time staying awake in class. I mastered the art of falling asleep with my head in my hand, although my elbow would occasionally slip out from underneath me and my head would go flying forward. Eventually I started bringing a pillow to school inside my book bag instead of text books. Let's just say I wasn't exactly the most enthusiastic student.

I was warned that I might get pretty tired during the first trimester. I had no idea just how tired I would get though. I have never known exhaustion like this before. My main focus each day was making it to my next nap. My all consuming thought was, "When do I get to sleep next?". My house is a mess, and for anyone who knows me, I must be exhausted if my house becomes a mess. I have a reputation of being a bit of a neat freak. I could probably benefit from seeing a doctor about it. I rarely cooked dinner anymore, or even bothered doing regular grocery shopping. My poor husband has really had to step up and help out. He has helped out alot with things like dishes and he has even learned to bake cakes! It may be just the boxed kind, but still that's something. He even made tacos for dinner last night! Before I became pregnant, his bag of tricks mainly consisted of mac & cheese, scrambled eggs & cereal. So needless to say, I have been very grateful for all his help. I know, I know, I am pregnant, he should be doing these things to help anyway. But I am just happy that he's doing this stuff, without me even really having to ask, and he's even acting like its not that much of a hassle.

I really shouldn't complain too much though. I am fully aware that things could be much worse. I have had almost zero morning sickness. There were a few times when I thought, I might be feeling a little woozy, but it never really got much further then that. I have had a really healthy appetite, and not much problem pooping. Which, from what I have heard, can really be a pain in the butt... literally. One thing that does worry me, however, is the size of my breasts. I have already gone from a small C to somewhere between a D and DD. At this rate, my breasts are going to be larger then my stomach. Also my ass has gotten a lot bigger too, but I think that is more my fault then the baby's. What can I expect when all I do is go to work, nap, eat dinner, then go to bed? Hopefully with the return of my energy, I can start getting into a better workout routine and spend more time making healthier dinners and lunches. I am hoping that over the last few days, I just got excited to start feeling more energetic and I just overdid it a little. I am thinking I might just need to take it a little easier and not take on too much at once. I am just so ready to get back to my old self (always busy, always on the go), and I probably shouldn't really expect that any time soon. Actually, I should probably start learning to not really expect anything, and try to just go more with the flow. Something that I have always needed to work on anyway.

Another thing that is frustrating, and I am sure that anyone that has been pregnant before can relate to, is the "inbetween" phase that I am in right now. I am not quite pregnant looking but my stomach is sticking far enough out to put me into maternity clothes, and I don't like that you can't tell if I am pregnant or just getting really chubby. I am so fortunate though to have so many friends that have been pregnant recently and were nice enough to share their maternity clothes with me. Five of my friends have lent their clothes to me and I doubt I will have to buy many at all of my own. Luckily most of them have similar taste as well, so I will be spending my pregnancy in style thanks to their generosity!

Tonight I have an appointment with my hair stylest (who also happens to be a good friend), and I am so excited! I was told by my OB not to color my hair at all during the first trimester. Its March and I haven't done anything with my hair since November. I am sure that getting my hair did, will help me feel alot better. Every time I look in the mirror and see those roots, I am not a happy camper.

So even though I may complain, I do try to keep in mind that its not nearly as bad as it could be, and most likely its going to still get alot worse. But I know it will all be worth it. I am just so excited to become a mom. I hope the next 6 months don't last as long as it feels like its going to!

Everything grows rounder and wider and weirder, and I sit here in the middle of it all and wonder who in the world you will turn out to be. -- Carrie Fisher


Anrazel said...

I love reading your thoughts and remembering going through it. It's such a great, and emotional, and confusing, and often uncomfortable time! I so look forward to reading more as you continue your journey! I remember it going sooooo slowly until 20 weeks, when we found out the sex. After that, it seemed to fly by!

Laura said...

I am also excited that you just happened to go through this right before me! Its nice to be able to call up my best friend and ask for their thoughts while its still so fresh in their mind. And I am so happy our babies will be so close in age and will be able to grow up together. Its all so exciting!