Monday, September 21, 2009

I am going to have to accept it...

My baby girl looks nothing like me.... she is definitely her daddy's girl. We think she has my ears... but that's about it. It's crazy how different she already looks then when we first brought her home. It seems like she changes every day.






The last week has been going okay.... I am having a hard time adjusting to the new sleeping (or lack there of) schedule. The breastfeeding has been harder then I expected. Her eating schedule seems to change daily. She is only 2 weeks old (almost), so I am sure this is normal and it will get better, but it's definitely trying. She will go for spurts of eating every hour, to eating every 3, or she will sleep for too long, I will have to wake her up to eat. Last night she ate every 3-3.5 hours all night... which was our best night yet and I feel like I was able to get some real actual sleep.

I had so much milk, that I began pumping to relieve the engorgment. Next thing you know, I am pumping alot, anywhere from 8-20 oz per day depending on how many feedings she had. At first I was really excited to start building up the extra milk, but then I began to get worried about how long this would last... I felt like I was constantly nursing or pumping. After some research I realized that by pumping so much I was only making things worse and I was signaling my breasts to continue to make that much milk. I had to stop pumping, cold turkey, which has been really hard. My breasts become so full and painful and I have to try to endure it until things balance themselves out. I express a tiny little bit when things get too uncomfortable, but thats about it. At this point I couldn't even consider leaving the house, I would be leaking everywhere. Hopefully things will adjust within a week or so.

As far as latching on, we are doing pretty good. One side is great, I actually enjoy nursing her on that side now, but the left side still needs improvement. It's definitely getting better, but it's still pretty sore. I keep having to remove her and start over until she gets her latch right. Which naturally, frustrates her quite a bit.

The day after she was born, she already started holding her head up on her own. I can't believe how long she can hold it up there. She doesn't hold it very steady, and I keep my hand there in case it flies backwards, but I am amazed at how strong her neck is already!

Overall, she is a pretty happy baby, and I feel very lucky. As long as her diaper is clean, her belly is full and she is held when she wants to be, she seems pretty content. I am really looking forward to her getting just a little bit bigger so I can put her in her slings and wraps. I have tried a couple of times, but she is just so damn small and skinny, I think she just needs to fatten up a little before she is comfortable in them. It is definitely going to make life much easier. Sometimes all she wants is to just be carried around the house with me.

Joe went back to work this week. I was really nervous about it. I knew we would be fine, but it was still so soon and I felt like I had barely started to adjust to things, and that was with him there. I knew there was going to be much more adjusting without him in the mix. Things have been going pretty good so far. I have a feeling that for a while, I will not be able to do much else besides tend to the munchkin until he gets home from work. Just doing basic things, like going to the bathroom, or making myself something to eat, can be hard, if she happens to be in the mood where she wants me to hold her or she starts crying. She has passed out in her swing for the moment, so I am quickly typing this post before she wakes up.

I think the hardest part of all though, has been my emotional roller coaster. The Baby Blues are no joke. It is definitely getting better, but for a while there, I would cry at anything that upset me at all. Anything. And even though I know in my head that it is just my hormones, I still feel very sad and I can only wait it out until it passes. I believe it is getting better though. Every day, I have less "episodes" and every day I feel more like myself again. Well, other then the lack of sleep thing.

Tomorrow she will be 2 weeks old. The time sure is flying by.

12 comments:

Gina said...

She is SO pretty. And although I did joke to B that if you put a beard on her, you couldn't tell the difference between her and Joe, I do think she looks like you a bit...I just can't put my finger on what. (And it's not just the ears!!) You have seen how L goes back and forth between looking like me and B, so don't lose hope yet!! :)

I am glad that your Baby Blues are starting to get better. Mine never did until I stopped breastfeeding...they got worse and worse! So consider yourself lucky!!! :)

Believe it or not, I am still coughing, but as soon as I am 100% healthy, I'll bring dinner over. I can't wait to meet her.

Anrazel said...

I love that you squeezed in time for an update! She is just gorgeous! And you are right, those baby blues are no joke. Just keep your head up and let me know if you need anything! Love you little mama!

Brittany Ann said...

She is just beautiful.

Hopin' those Baby Blues don't get you too down! We're out here in the blogosphere if you need an ear!

Badass Geek said...

Two weeks already... She is beautiful. And all that hair!

It sounds like you are doing great.

Sus said...

She is gorgeous! I know the feeling of the boob pain, but keep it up! I am still pumping 3-4 times per day, and now it's starting to slow down-I haven't been pumping enough. The baby blues-girl, that will last awhile-I'm still bursting into tears 7 weeks later-but maybe that's just me! It's normal though-you are doing great!

Myshka said...

She's so tiny and gorgeous. You're so blessed. Just keep your chin up with those damn blues, they hit like a train, so I've heard. Be gentle on yourself. And when you're having a good day, try and write yourself a little inspirational note and then read it when you're feeling down in the dumps. It'll remind you that you are a good mum and that it will get easier. Sending you hugs...

Little T said...

She is definitely Joe's little girl, that is for sure. Happy 2 week birthday to our little princess. I just might have to stop by today or tomorrow to give her some lovin'...and her mama too. Hang in there. You are doing great!

Ink Obsession Designs said...

She is so gorgeous!! :) Definitely keep your chin up...you will get through the baby blues!

Lil' Woman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lil' Woman said...

She is adorable..I hope the latching, sleeping and baby blues get better for you.

Missie Krissie said...

Definitely a beautiful baby, sorry it's taken me so long to get here to see her! She is just gorgeous! I find breast feeding to be the hardest thing about having a child. It hurts to start with and gets to be annoying, being the only one who can feed the baby in the middle of the night :) But we get through it :) Congrats to producing such a pretty like girl!

Melissa G. said...

Oh my goodness, she is so precious!

I found your blog through a comment you left on Brittany Ann's. You mentioned you had a new baby and there's nothing i love more than a new baby so i came over to say hi!

I've been reading about your first few weeks. They sound so familiar. My little one is 8 months old now but those first few weeks with him seem like just yesterday.

Hang in there. The breastfeeding will get easier. I had really sore nipples at first too until my midwife showed me the baby wasn't latching on far enough. They have to have a lot more in their mouth than i realized. So after we learned than it didn't hurt any more.
I agree with you that it's worth it. It helps such an awesome bond develop. It's amazing how much you can love a person, isn't it.

It's nice to meet you. If you have any questions or just want to talk to another mommy. Send me an email... missylovsjesus@yahoo.com